I vibed low all day yesterday and today.
I cried, I felt completely down, depressed, blue, whatever you may call it. Out of sync. It started last weekend, when I received some upsetting news from Holland. Then came Monday. My husband went to work, the kids left for school and I was left behind with nothing but the dishes, the laundry, the taxes and the most overwhelming sense of loss. The miscarriage is over. It's gone. I'm drained.
Melodramatic and like a terrible actress in a B-movie, I let myself slide down onto the kitchen floor and I sobbed and sobbed until I realized that it was really cold on those tiles.
Continue reading "DO NOT EVER MESS WITH THE "CURSED HOW'S" (like I did)" »
- I so ate the
M&M's.

- I drank wine.
- I cried and cried some more.
Then I yelled at my husband and blamed him for my stagnant life.
- I moped around the house all
day.
- I googled "blighted
ovum" and recurrent miscarriage and other sad stories of other sad
women, until I reached the very last page of the world wide web
- I cried some more.
- I tortured myself by thinking
of all the babies born to friends in the last few years, while I was
having five flippin’ miscarriages in a row.
- I felt really sorry for
myself that all my friends are going away for the winter break next week,
while I am left behind on this God-forgotten island with nothing to look
forward to
- I deeply hated my blog all of
a sudden. I don't want to ‘try to be happy’ and I don't want feel
committed to anything. I just want to feel miserable.
- Then I cried some more,
because really... nobody even bothers to read this blog anyway.
- I cried some more.
- I fell asleep at 9.00 pm
drained and exhausted.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
After all those M&M's.
Continue reading "Oh... who am I kidding?" »
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