Feeling this negative and blue… it was only a matter of time
before I would start attracting more negative things into my life, right? The
real estate agent of our landlord just called (the house we rent is on the
market) and tomorrow there will be a house showing.
It could not have been a
worse time. It’s the end of winter, we need a good ole’ fashioned weekend-long spring
cleaning. Getting rid of stuff. You know… somewhere in March the rest of the family helps. Not this
afternoon! Not alone! Now besides having cramps of miscarrying, I'm also having conniptions
and stress because I’ll need to bend over backwards to get this place representable
within 24 hours, while all I want to do is sulk some more and walk around in my
husband's oversized bathrobe in the middle of a weekday. I was only planning on
getting dressed to pick up my daughter from school. Possibly making an
emergency stop for more M&M's.
Continue reading "Exhibit A (this stuff does work, I'm just using it wrong)" »
- I so ate the
M&M's.
- I drank wine.
- I cried and cried some more.
Then I yelled at my husband and blamed him for my stagnant life.
- I moped around the house all
day.
- I googled "blighted
ovum" and recurrent miscarriage and other sad stories of other sad
women, until I reached the very last page of the world wide web
- I cried some more.
- I tortured myself by thinking
of all the babies born to friends in the last few years, while I was
having five flippin’ miscarriages in a row.
- I felt really sorry for
myself that all my friends are going away for the winter break next week,
while I am left behind on this God-forgotten island with nothing to look
forward to
- I deeply hated my blog all of
a sudden. I don't want to ‘try to be happy’ and I don't want feel
committed to anything. I just want to feel miserable.
- Then I cried some more,
because really... nobody even bothers to read this blog anyway.
- I cried some more.
- I fell asleep at 9.00 pm
drained and exhausted.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
After all those M&M's.
Continue reading "Oh... who am I kidding?" »
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