Showering once is not enough.

You don't wake up one morning, take a shower and leave it at that for weeks, only to complain three weeks later that you stink, and thus proclaim that taking showers doesn't work!

You don’t go to the gym once, do 100 sit-ups for your abs and never return to them again, only to complain a few months later – looking at your belly flab – that sit ups don’t work!

(And you don’t try EFT once and expect all your energetic blockages to be cleared. Like I did. "Djeez, I tapped about a month ago, why isn't this stuff working?" (Oh, really? You were supposed to do it at least 3 times a day for a month? Booooring!)

A good friend of mine posted this cliché quote on her Facebook the other day:

“You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results”.

Ouch.

I had heard this quote many times before (hence the word cliché), but it struck a cord this time. That same morning I had picked up one of my old diaries and found an entry from about a year ago. Turns out, a year ago I was also whining about being overweight, not having enough money, not liking the house I am living in, I had just miscarried, I was lacking purpose in life, my husband wasn’t romantic enough and so fort and so on.

How much has changed since then? I am embarrassed to say: NOTHING. And I bet that if I look through even older diaries, it’s more of the same.

“You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results”.

Ouch again.

Where do I start? My intentions are good. I started this blog and was convinced that within weeks I would be happily reporting an increase in happiness, health and abundance.

But it turns out: it’s not that easy! I worry, I fret, I loose faith.
I had a few suggestions for upgrading my life. I made my vision board, I am becoming more aware of my words, I looked into EFT, I started a gratitude journal and I began writing morning pages.

The problem is: after a while, I stop. Just like the sit-ups and the showers: you can’t just try it once and expect great and everlasting results.

Why did I not stick with the yoga classes? I could be having some killer abs by now, or at least have a smaller tush. Why did I not stick with the morning pages? I could have more mental clarity by now, rather than banging my head against the wall from fear and doubt. Why did I not continue to do the EFT tapping? I read about it all the time! How it’s profoundly boring powerful. It’s only a few minutes, people! A few minutes, a few times a day. The total time doesn’t even equal one episode of the Housewives. What is wrong with me?

It’s self sabotage. that's what it is! And it finally hit me this week!

I have a new therapist (by the way, remind me to elaborate about her later; I MUST tell you about her uncanny techniques! Remember Sophia from the Golden Girls? It’s here!). Well, ‘Sophia’ told me to just stop being such a VICTIM.

She said what? Did she not just hear my sad story? Did she not understand how unfair my life has been? Does she not know that I pay her to give me some sympathy? Right? Isn't she supposed to help me sort out my emotions after so much adversity? I expected some tissues and a comforting hand on my knee. Especially since this was my first visit.

Not with her. Not once did she give me a compassionate look (or a tissue!). She just told me, over and over again, to just SUCK IT UP.

That’s right! Suck it up. Deal with it. Get over it. Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself. Yes, she said ‘damn’. She said worse than that, actually.

At first I was pissed at this old lady. Who does she think she is? What happened to advice like "be gentle on yourself?". But after a few days, it started to sink in. It all came together. She’s right! Being gentle on myself has only translated into skipping the gym and eating a pint of ice cream for lunch. and then crying some more. I can’t sit here - in her chair - paying her to listen to my moanings about how unfair life has treated me, like I did with the other therapists over the last few years, and EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS this time. Get over it already.

Still. Easier said than done. So today I made a list of all the things I can do different, in order to get different results. The list is endless, but before I fall into the same trap, I decided to just pick two things from the list. Baby steps. I need to accept that showering once is not enough. You got to keep shaving those legs!

So here’s a commitment to my first two steps.

1)      Last Monday I started Power90X (lean). Ninety days of jumping around at home. Yikes. I’ve done Monday and Tuesday and today I already had trouble finding time for day 3. But the day is not over yet (it’s just more embarrassing to jump around in the living room, now that the family is back home from school/ work). Only 87 days left.

(but I am not quitting the chocolate just yet, baby steps, people baby steps!)

2)      I will finally start doing EFT. Starting tomorrow. I will use today to sort it all out, even if that means I won't sleep until 2.00 am (and it probably will be that late, because it’s elimination night on American Idols), I will not go to sleep until I have written out my limiting beliefs and replaced them with new beliefs, so I can start tapping on them.

I will use this fantastic blog entry as my basis. The post is referring to money issues, but you can easily translate the exercise for health issues, relationship issues, you name it. EFT is the new magic, baby! 

I will be consistent this time. Consistent and buff.