Tool Tuesday: FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

QUESTION: What do you normally answer when somebody asks you "how are you?".

If you're anything like me, the standard answer usually is something uneventful like "fine, and you?", "okay" or - if you're having a particularly nice day - you might actually say "good".

Do you ever say "FANTASTIC!" or "I AM MOST BLESSED! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!".

I don't. I would be embarrassed. Especially when it's not a friend asking, but just those curtsy exchanges at supermarket, at the school parking lot or at the post office.

Wouldn't it be awkward? It's my turn at the post office, I walk up to the counter and the clerk looks up, and asks, semi-bored, "how are you?". He doesn’t really expect an answer, let alone care for it. Behind me is a line of 10 people waiting, all in a rush to get out of there. Yet I take my time to reply enthusiastically "MY LIFE IS JUST AMAZING, I COULDN'T BE ANY HAPPIER! HOW ARE YOU?"

For sure people would roll their eyes at me, wondering what happy pills I'm on.

There is so much power in how you answer this question though. It sets the tone for the rest of your day. It’s almost like an affirmation, isn’t it. Take a look at these answers, all really overheard in the last few weeks.

How’s it going? Oh well, you know, just trying to survive.

Hey, how are you? Hmm… just hoping it won’t snow again.

How are you doing? Fine, I guess.

What’s up? The prices are up, that’s what’s up.

Do you think these people had a great rest of the day? Attracted wealth and abundance that day? Or just more bills and more snow?

My point exactly. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, isn’t it? There is so much power in how you answer this question! And it's such a common question. You hear it at least 10 times a day (well, here in America you do; in Holland it's mostly just your friends and family asking; the post office clerk will never ask such a thing because quite frankly... we're no-nonsense in Holland and if you don't care about the answer - just like his American colleague doesn't really care about that either - why even bother to ask?).

I used to say “fine” too. Until a friend pointed out that f.i.n.e. stands for “frustrated, insecure, nervous and exhausted”. Aren’t we all? I’m glad she pointed that out though, because I never say “fine” anymore. Now I usually say “good” but with a modest undertone. So, if one of the laws of attraction is that you get what you say, then I should a) be less modest and b) ask for more! I don’t want my life to be just good; I want it to be great! Fantastic! Amazing! Incredible! Extraordinary!

I’m going to put it to the test. I'll fake it till I make it . Even on my worst days, I’ll still say that life is just grand, that I couldn’t be any happier! I’ll say it with excitement too. In the beginning I might feel like a phony (Great, Jess? Really? What’s so great about your life right now, huh?), but it will catch on. With every time I'll say it , I will get a little more convinced and feel a little better. And we all know my mantra: the better you feel, the better it gets! And the better it gets, the better you feel.

I dare you. Let’s try it for one month. What do you have to loose, besides people thinking you've doubled your dosis of happy pills?