The awkwardness of the first post.

It feels empty here, a little lonely too. Like a brand new, vacant house. It needs to be carpeted first and most certainly it needs some pieces of furniture, before I can even begin to invite you over.
It is so quite here, I can here my own echo-o-o.

Alright then. Awkward silence.... This is where you ask me a question, to break the ice. Anything.

Why another blog? Aren’t there already 112.8 million bloggers out there? 

Yes, thank you for pointing out the needlessness of my newest endeavor. That number doesn't even include the roughly 72 million Chinese blogs floating around.

But technically speaking, I’m not the newest kid on the blog. When I moved from Amsterdam to the United States, I was home sick. Terribly home sick. We’re talking the spring of 2002. Most of my evenings I was crying sending emails to friends and family in Holland. Many different emails, but all with the same stories and the same pictures. Until one morning I came across this hype called blogging. How brilliant. Now family and friends could keep up with my new life, in one consolidate

d cyber place. What a joy for an extrovert like me. Look at me everybody, look at me!

I called my blog “whazzup”. What was I thinking?

Don’t ask me why, but people seemed to actually like reading about the apple pies I baked out of utter boredom, or yet another post about yet another beach walk (because that’s pretty much all you can do here in winter). I was happy blogging.

Until the summer of 2007, when I lost my so wanted baby at 23 weeks gestation. I was

crushed. It took the joy out of my life. I kept on blogging, but I had lost my mojo. My posts became gloomier. There is only so much frustration and depression you can expose your friends to, before they just start avoiding you altogether, right? So I started a seperate blog for my whinings year of healing.

I didn't expect anybody to ever come to that dark place, it was purely a therapeutic outlet for myself. But what do you know? It actually attracted many women with similar premature birth experiences. Once again I was happy blogging.

So, with one place where I made fun of myself, business as usual, and one blog which I considered ‘therapy’ (but eh... you know… with the world watching) I got my mojo back. I even got pregnant again. Good stuff to blog about!


What made you stop? Why this new blog?


Well, I miscarried. Again. And again. I couldn’t do it anymore. The blogging I mean. I needed a break from always sharing every feeling, every thought and every fart with the rest of the world. I needed to be on my own. So I took a year-long sabbatical.

Then a few weeks ago, I read about this blogging course at our local high school. I convinced my friend Alexis that blogging was the solution to our winter doldrums and here I am: back on the bandwagon.

And what will the new blog be about?

I promise you, it will not be about about apple pies or beach walks, nor will it be about miscarriages. It will be about me learning the art of living my dreams, about me applying the tools towards greater happiness. I've read all the books on the law of attraction, and then some. I saw the Secret before Oprah did. I've listened to all the tapes of Mike Dooley. Yet, I have not been able to manifest real dreams. Come to think of it.... I don't even have any substantial dreams. That might be the crux right there.

'They' all make it sound so easy: get your dream home, your dream job, take dream vacations, have unlimited abundance. 'They' make me feel stupid! How come I "know" the material through and through, but just can't seem to apply it in daily life?

There you have it. This blog will be about me dreaming bigger, living larger and accomplishing more in my life. And even though it will be about me, I hope that it might motivate you to use the same tools towards your greater happiness. Perhaps you'll get some occasional inspiration from this blog or may be you just need a person to laugh at. That's okay, I laugh at me too.

So, now my new blog is officially a little less empty. My first piece of furniture is in. Soon I might be confident enough to invite people over, so they can help me decorate. I like comments on my walls, lots of them.